Grab hold of nice things

Somethings in life comes only once.
Or sometimes they stay to let you see how much happier they could be without you.

I once pushed someone who wad very important to me away. And hurt that person in every hurtful way. Even to th extend of his esteem and his injuries.
I hated that person thn. Even after forking out all th feelings I once had.
Back then I thought that since he didn want to talk, I could do this. What for to care about him when he doesn give a damn?

I deeply regret my decision. My action lead to a painful half year for him. And a year of missed out memories for me. I could even use fingers to count th no. Of times I actually talked to him. Those 'what's th time now?' talk. Not 'you after school going anywhere?' talk.

I really regret. But what's th point of regretting? It was once what I sought after. And even though I hate to admit it, it was really exactly what I had aimed for. To hurt him to th utmost extend.

And I got my karma. He left. And lead a happier life. Then I realize, I can't do without him. Maybe I'm too young to say this. 'oh puppy love!' you might be thinking. I have to say, it was still feelings alright. And once feelings goes out, hurts comes in.

I was so convinced with lies that I made for myself. Until I got th wake up call last year, it wasn't too late. But it wasn early either. And what happened was that, I didn pause for him when I pushed him away. Hence he didn halt for me either. Well actually he did. But I extinguished his every dignity. Who could have willed to still hold on?

What comes after is far more torturous thn imagined.
Thus, ... Grab hold of nice things. They don't come often. They don't come easily. They don't come and stop their lives for you. Nice things never lasts.

Even though scars had been made, cuts all over, I'm glad he was willing to wait. Even when I had my nonsensical tempers. And my weird tear glands that comes as and when.

Thank you, guy.
I cannot express how guilty I feel. And I cannot express th fear I harbour now. The fear that you would be pulled away even when I cling onto for so long, so hard. I just can't lose you again.
Lose, in so many different contexts.