Just talking bout friends.
School has been ok to me so far and I just lapse into the usual school routine. Had been very busy lately but then it hit me how much I have neglected some of my friends.
Looking back at this week, I saw friends that i once was close with had went off with some other people. And I felt like I couldn't connect to them anymore.
When something happened and I asked what is it I was brushed off. Not that I mind not knowing the truth. It's just that I realize I ain't the one they will look for anymore. They aren't willing to share their burden even if I was willing to share it with them. It's not their fault though. I think it lies on me.
For the past year, I have been busy with my own clique, which btw, is already in a mess itself... Studies, targets and him. I haven't been hanging around other friends often. It's no wonder why they left me.
Today, I found out someone disowned me. Because he didn't want to give me any 'troubles'. I don't get it why is he avoiding me like that. I hate losing friends and it wasn't like it wasn obvious since I told him that straight to him. He asked if it's ok if he acknowledge me as his sister again. I don't know. I really don't know. I mean, what's the point? You had the intention already didn't you.
I miss how easy it had been in th past when I could communicate with all my friends almost effortlessly. when I could share their burden and hear them out. When I was th first person they thought of finding whenever they have troubles. Am I turning into a worse person now?
I saw this tweet from yun jie last night: I find it funny how when someone says they like you, they could still ignore you whenever they feel like it. (something like that) how true.
And if you (th one that disowned me) are reading this, I hate this line of 'you will be better off without me' regarding your question of are we still friends... Well.. I don't know. I don't feel that you wanna be friends anymore...
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