doubts D':

hmph...i'm 'stable'.i duno hw to phrase it.currently tinkin loads of stuffs. hais...this is y u shld nt gib complete trust.shold hab listen to ke rong and chloe mummy. tis is called stupid.hmm...kaes...i've got a bad nose block,sore throat,headache and puffy eyes.feeling so light~sheez,now i'm the one wishin to be ill.zzz...damn tt penknife for not being rusty.zzz...thn ..hmph...dnt wish to say wad happen to tt new penknife.

doubts doubts doubts...

euu sae euu feel bad for mue to stiu care for euu.thn i wanna ask,b4 u brk the news to mue,u dnt feel bad or anitin??

if euu dnt hab feelings for others hw did euu sae all dose stuffs?

actually,i've been wonderin am i a toy to euu?

for euu to play and thn throw away in the dump?

is feelings so fun to play with?

u shldn hab given mue tt ans if euu dnt wnt rite??

haix...now dwell on it oso no use... :')

thn,i asked my dear dear niece.gud advices frm her."euu shldn trust a guy completely unless he's ur BF." hmm..i tink even if he's ur BF oso cnt trust COMPLETELY nia..

so,now,i hab 2 route to chose.and a confirmation.

i confirm i'm goin bk to being my old self.let it jux freeze up.

the 2 routes are:

-play it cool...relax...and ..yea..despite the fact,jux continue to hab crush.
-brk down n cry n cry n emo n cut blahs.thn,try and forget him completely and seriously jux b bk to old self.

and till now,i jux now was the 2nd one.and i cut-ed.okaes...and i'm rackin my brain on how to face peepo tmr..

thn now,which way shld i chose? damn it...he promised tt i wnt regret and in the end,i stiu did regret on it.shouldn hab trusted him...D':

i so far,...trying to kip away all dose meories.like how i did to fish..but i dnt hab lighter man... i deleted msges ad sent msges of everyone cos everyone's msg gt mue n him-.-'' and the saved msges.thn all the notes concernin him.and changed his name bk to original.no mre pics. changed theme n wallpaper and screen saver.these are only for fone.

thn,i searched for our diary.n penknife-ed every page. and put it in baggy.tmr try burn it.and thn,dere was the second diary.penknife-ed down every page..put into file.tmr burnin it.hope cn...thn there's one mre diary of mine.almost all bout him.is under table.gonna penknife-ed it and burn it too...

thn i change the pics of facebook,blog and LMS...anitin ting else i cn do..?

kaes...sudd i hope he's reading tis post.cos...i dunno how to express mself to him.rite now,the only ting i cn ask him is his fever.goodness noe how's it now.geez..praying for him to get well and prayin tt i got fever instead.sheez...shldn hab such a big impaact on mue man...D':

jux hope tt we cn get bk to being the old us.and the ans to the route..i dunno if i shld choose the decision in my heart...its....rly scared..aft all had happen.. i'm such a bitch. D':

kaes...wait..i till now stiu dnt get it.i asked him one of the qns and he nvr reply to mue abt it.c'mon!!! if euu want mue get a clear ans,thn sae! euu oready brk the news,thn i dun c y euu cnt answer mue dose qns. zzz...if euu dnt ans,idk how to face euu tmr.espacially when we're so close...

hope tt we cn jux b back to the old self...

these hurts and danger was brought to mie by myself..