a poem and i gnored emmett...

~Dilemma~
When i first see you,
I was scared to talk to you.
When i first talk to you,
I was scared to kiss you.
When i first kiss you,
I was scared to love you.
Now that i know i love you,
I was scared to lose you.

When i cant see you,
I feel that I am blind.
When i cant touch you,
I feel that i am handicapped.
When i cant hear you,
I feel that i am deaf.
When i cant talk to you,
I feel that i am a mute.

No better than a dead person...
CREDITS: JESLYN

hais.... a normal day today. got a maths test. was hard too...to mie. well, thn dere's the interview on 'wad does the pledge mean to you?' thn,it was lesson time.i found the diary under his table and yest. he said the diary wasn wif him! anyway,i took away the diary and kept it... saftely in my bag. no more writin msges.. thn i oso nvr tok or play wif him. even during recess. sure,it seems wierd, bt...i'll juz hav to endure it. hais.. chloe go help mie tell himtt i angry wif him. lol. i didn rly want tell.. bt... anyway,its oready in the past.and u noe wad was emmett's reply?! he said that i got onto his nerve,tt's y he left! well,one ting for sure,i was tokin to pretty fly the whole time... and ya~ testin out their hearin by callin emmett's n gunin's name on diff. volume. FINE! if i do gt on his nerves, thn don find mie egein. since i'm such a pest. T.T bleah~~!!! ><>thn,we went to the the science experiminet on onion cells and there was tis thin slide tt will brk easily bt its sharp and easy to cut urself if u're not careful. thn when the experiment finally ended, i wash the glass and the thin slide. thn,..i cut myself...why?! why did i do that???!!! why did i brk the threaty again...? i hate myself!! ya~ i noe... i cnt take the anger n frusfration anymore.... tt's y.. but! why is it tis... ... ... thn, it bled. showed alice.she went screamin.(she's scared of blood and will faint when she sees blood) wow! it was scary...she screamed and wasn feeling well. felt guilty... i even lied to them.. i said it was an accident... if nt they will go paranoid n hysterics. tt's how emotional n concerned my dear classmates are..^^ *muacks* here's to all of you guys: i m FINE n doing WELL. its juz a old habit tt i m trying very hard to curb it. and so far,i'm doing vry gud. sry to make u guys worry...>< style="text-align: center;">-fast forward-

in the bus wif nicole, we tok abt sean hoand renee. thn we moved on to emmett's prob.OMFG!!! hais... serious prob.cnt say bt....hais cnt say. omg,...i juz hope everytin will be fine. hope tt emmett realizes.... wad shld i do... gosh~ its so unbearably uncomfortable to kip such a big secret bt i have to. i sumpa to her liao... hope evrytins goin to turn out fine... hais...y did tis hav to happen... i hope no one regrets it. wad's wrong wif boys...? feels like sean ho is hidin smth frm renee and don noe or dnt wnt to say yet.thn emmett oso liddat. mood swings... sometimes will sudd call ppl shut up. he changed...alot... nt surprise y she said tt.O.o feels lyk smth's botherin him yet he dnt wnt say. not even to mie,..his mei.. bleah~! mei's there to help,if he dt lemme hl, wad for i b dere?!...hais..4gt it.later he say i kpo and vry nosey. well,i'm oready labelled as bitch/vixen and nerve-wrackin ppl. another name wnt do anytin else...wld it?yea~ mayb it will... hais....move on move on!!! secrets... wow... either way,i will die seh... hais...tmr gt malay test. if fail hor,nid to go for remedial leh!! OMG lo!! somemore remedials on saturday... i cnt fail...